THE WUNDER BAR WEBSITE
PAGE: STEW'S NEWS 8 12 04
LAST UPDATED: 8 12 04
CONTENTS:
HO HO HO. Etc etc etc.,
Everyone feeling festive? Decided that next year you’ll definitely be
taking that December cruise to any bloody where. Preferably a nation
which eschews the Christian faith? I know what you mean. Add to the fact
that I’m skint and hopeless at choosing presents, we’ve only invited the
in-laws, outlaws and innumerable offspring to partake of the yuletide
victuals this year. It must be all that first time new house stuff which
infects us. Oh but it gets better. She who must be obeyed has hit upon
the cracking idea of decorating the whole house in time for the
relatives descent.
Now you could be excused for wondering at the unnecessary extra work
this entails; the upheaval, the mess, the smell, the dog wearing a
different coloured tail every other day and the forced coos of approval
yours truly is obliged to utter on demand. At least we’ve advanced
beyond the first stage of the decorating process. You know the one,
innumerable trips to friendly neighbourhood DIY emporia to purchase
boxes full of miniature paint pots each replete with their own miniature
brush cunningly affixed within the lid. Upon return slashes of ill
matching and vivid colours are splashed merrily over various walls,
there to remain as a warning of decorating to come for the following
three months.
Please don’t misunderstand me. I like to see she-who-must in a tranquil
and happy state. Well obviously - the alternative sees me, three kids,
dog, rat, cat, mice and hamster tin hatted down the Anderson shelter for
the duration. No, my point is that only six months ago we moved in to a
house which, perhaps foolishly, I thought we liked. I mean why choose
this particular one if we wanted one in a different colour?
It has been suggested (generally from atop the step ladder) that rather
than sitting on my generous back side in front of Sky Sports complaining
about the odd whiff of emulsion, I might care to take an interest in the
old homestead. Well point taken, I suppose. I did fix the remote control
for she-who-must’s bedside TV which someone not me had treated to a spin
in the 40° delicate woollens cycle, so it’s not as if I don’t pull my
weight.
Still back to Christmas shopping. Just what do you get for that special
lady in your life when she already has a roller and tray and sixteen
tins of vinyl matt drip proof multi surface anti mould emulsion? Next
time you’re at the bar offering yours truly a medicinal one to keep out
the December chill, why not pop your ideas in the suggestion box. Time
is fast running out.